Toward Truth

It wasn’t until I had kids of my own that I truly “got” Christmas, and even then it took several years for it all to really sink in.  It was the Christmas Eve when my oldest daughter was about three years old.  We were at the evening church service, and my daughter and about four other young children took the stage to sing “Silent Night.”  I was in the back of the small, crowded sanctuary running sound; and as I stood there watching and listening to my little girl sing my favorite Christmas carol, I started getting a little choked up (something that seldom happens to me).  In that moment, overwhelmed with the pride and joy that only a father understands, I got it.  I understood what it all meant: the Christ-Child lying in the manger, the Word become Flesh… all the carols, all the Sunday School flannel graph lessons finally made sense to me.

This being the fifth day of Christmas, the last couple of weeks have brought with them – amidst the hustle and bustle of holiday shopping and myriad family get-togethers – moments of reflection and meditation on the events that unfolded in First Century Palestine.  The Virgin with Child, no room at the inn, angels and shepherds, frankincense and myrrh.  And in all this pondering, there has always been one part of the story that has always bothered me a bit: Joseph; the betrothed, the father, the carpenter who is only mentioned by name nine times in the Gospel accounts.

What bothers me is not anything he did or said in the story, but rather how little is said about what he did or said.  The man entrusted with raising the Son of God is reduced to a bit player who just sort of stands in the background.  Even Zacharias, the cousin-in-law and father of John the Baptist, gets more screen time than the surrogate father of our Lord.

But particularly troubling are a few lines of the story nestled in Matthew 1.  They read (emphasis mine):

¹⁸ This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. ¹⁹ Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

 ²⁰ But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. ²¹ She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”

²² All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: ²³ “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”).

²⁴ When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. ²⁵ But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.

First problem: verses 18 and 19 – how did that conversation go?  I think if I had Doc Brown’s time-travelling DeLorean, I’d love to go back to First Century Galilee and stand just outside the door to eavesdrop on that one.  “Joseph, there’s something I need to tell you… [long, uncomfortable pause]… I’m… pregnant…  [another long, awkward pause]… an angel came to me the other day…”  I mean, come on, of all places for the Gospel writer to leave out the dialogue.  How did she break the news to him?  Did she make him his favorite dinner first?  How did he take the news?  Did he do what any normal guy would do when told his fiancé is pregnant with someone else’s baby… go bat-crap crazy?

Also a bit troubling about these verses is how they might fit into the overall timeline of events when you combine this account with Luke.  In Luke’s Gospel, after the angel gave her the news, Mary went to stay with her cousin Elizabeth (mother of John the Baptist) for a couple of months.  So did Mary wait until she returned – and was very obviously pregnant – to tell Joseph?  Or did she tell him and then split that evening?  Either way, I’m sure this sudden departure and lengthy time away from home didn’t make it any easier for him.

Second problem: verse 20 – “but after he considered this, an angel… appeared to him…”  How long was that “after”?  Did the angel come to him that night?  A day or two later?  A week?  The angel breaks the news to Mary, why not stop by and tell Joseph while he’s in the neighborhood?  Why not tell them both together?  And after receiving the difficult news, Joseph is just left to sit with it for awhile and consider his options.  How much squirming happened between verses 19 and 20?  How many sleepless nights did Joseph have to endure before the angel appeared to him in that dream?

But what I do find reassuring is how he handles the whole situation.  Verse 19, so simple and straightforward, speaks volumes about Joseph’s character and integrity.  It says, “Because [he] was faithful to the Law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.”  Joseph loved his God and loved his betrothed, and he wanted to do right by both of them, but this put him into a sort of double-bind.  His betrothed and beloved Mary is with child, and he knows for sure it ain’t his.  Now, according to Jewish Law – to which Joseph was faithful – the punishment for such actions was having large stones thrown at you until your pulse stopped (Leviticus 20:10).  Joseph would have been completely within his rights to drag Mary to the town officials and demand that she be put to death.  That would be faithfulness to the Law.  Remember the woman dragged out of her adulterous bed and flung at the feet of Jesus?

“And yet [he] did not want to expose her to public disgrace.”  He didn’t want to see that happen.  He didn’t want to lose the woman he loved.  He didn’t want to see her humiliated in front of the town.  He wanted to spare her life and her dignity.  So he did what appears to be the noble, honorable thing.  He made up his mind to divorce her quietly (a betrothal back then was basically an unconsummated marriage).  I’m sure he was hurt; he was probably angry and confused.  And he had every right to be.  His whole world had been turned upside down.  But he put his own feelings aside and tried to do what would be best for both of them: just quietly walk away.

“But after he considered this, an angel… appeared to him in a dream.”  After all the aforementioned squirming and sleeplessness and anger and confusion, an angel visited him at night to reassure him that everything is going to be ok.  “Mary’s telling the truth.  Her baby was conceived by the Holy Spirit; she hasn’t been unfaithful to you.  Don’t divorce her.  Take her home to be your bride.  Everything’s going to be alright.”

And he did.  He remained faithful to his God and to his betrothed.  He took Mary to be his bride, but waited until the Christ-Child was born to consummate their marriage.  It probably took a lot of cold showers, but he stayed true to what he was told.

This all feels like a happy ending, but somehow I feel it was far from easy for the Holy Family.  I’m sure word got around, and simple math would prove that Joseph wasn’t Jesus’ actual father (or if he was, that they had a lapse in self-control before the wedding).  They probably got funny looks as they walked through town and were likely the subject of local gossip for years.  Based on the receptions Jesus received in Nazareth later as an adult (Matthew 13: 53-58; Mark 6: 1-6; Luke 4: 16-30), the family probably remained a social pariah for quite some time.

But through it all – as far as we are told in the Scriptures – Joseph remained faithful and true.  He stayed committed to his faith and to his family.  He doesn’t get much screen time and has no spoken lines in the story, but I can’t think of a better man to be asked to be the surrogate father for the coming King.

Ryan M Blanck is a high school English teacher and blogger who attends a United Methodist Church on Sundays and a Foursquare Church on Saturday nights.  Ryan’s current blogging endeavors can be found at http://letterstodfw.wordpress.com/.

You can follow Ryan on Twitter: @RyanMBlanck, and like his Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/RyanMBlanck.